Kelly Grayson’s top 10 lists have been making us laugh for years. We brought you a roundup of his best, but couldn’t fit them all in just one article. So we bring your round two!
1. Top 10 words that should be in the EMS dictionary (but aren’t)
Anyone who has ever watched television knows that without Ambuslaps, the EMTs would never know when it’s time to take the patient to the hospital.
2. Top 10 inappropriate pop-culture quotes for on-the job use
When replying to the accusation against me, my first instinct was to scribble a John McClane-esque, “Yippie-ki-yay, motherf**ker,” but instead I penned a more subtle Princess Bride quote: “As you wish.”
3. Top 10 EMS Christmas carols
Check out these festive Christmas and holiday songs with an EMS twist.
4. Top 10 celebrities who’d be great medics
Who do you think would make a better partner: Chuck Norris or Darth Vader? How about Wile E. Coyote?
5. Top 10 EMS New Year’s resolutions
I resolve that whenever dispatch asks us if we’d like the Fire Department to respond with us to wreck scenes, I will stop answering with, ‘Why, is the patient on fire?’
6. Top 10 signs your EMS dispatcher hates you
If you’ve ever wondered if your dispatcher is an evil genius bent on breaking your spirit, here are 10 ways to tell.
7. Top 10 vaguely creepy ways to show your EMS partner you care
If you follow these simple relationship tips with your ambulance partner, I can virtually assure you that it will make your days off with your spouses and significant others that much sweeter.
8. Top 10 subtle signs your EMS agency isn’t a proud community partner
Whenever the newspaper photographer shows up at a wreck scene, your medics are always identified in the next day’s edition as ‘unidentified bystander in reflective vest.’
9. Top 10 signs your agency’s cardiac arrest protocols need updating
If you still routinely transported cardiac arrest victims to the ED with CPR in progress, or intubated every arrest victim early in the resuscitation, you’re not likely to have many survivors.
10. Top 10 predictions for the future of EMS
I was able to successfully channel Miss Cleo for my vision into the future of EMS.
Do you have an idea for a Top 10 list for Grayson to tackle? Share your ideas in the comments.