One of the most underrated competencies of a good leader is the ability to sit still and let others speak their mind. What’s more, getting honest, reliable feedback and ideas is key to an organization’s success. Here are some ways to not only improve your capacity to let others do the talking, but make yourself a more effective listener at the same time:
- Don’t think you can multi-task and get away with it while someone is speaking and you’re supposed to be listening. Checking e-mail or doing another task while someone is talking to you alone or in a group is not only rude, but it compromises your values as a leader. Either the meeting is worth your time and attention or not. If you need to check your e-mail or cell phone, try to do it in private.
- Don’t interrupt abruptly, no matter how urgent or relevant your observation might be. Figure out an appropriate time to jump in, even with your most insufferable talkers. Raising your hand is not a sign of weakness.
- How often do two people leave a meeting with entirely different perceptions of what was said? Clarify the message by paraphrasing back to the speaker what you think you heard, especially in critical situations.
- Ask open-ended questions that invite deeper conversation and depth. When someone asks what you would suggest doing about a problem, resist giving your opinion immediately. Instead, ask what he or she would suggest.
- Sometimes silence is golden. Don’t feel the need to always fill the void after asking a question, or if there is an uncomfortable period of quiet—let the people you’re talking to compose themselves. Often, the best kind of communication can occur in these situations.
(Adapted from Organization Systems International’s Polaris Leadership Competency Development Guide.)
