Halfway to the hospital on a winding rural road, I felt myself break into a sudden cold sweat. Oh no, I thought, as I looked for the nearest emesis bag, this isn’t going to end well.
I figured I had maybe 60 seconds to come up with a plan. Luckily, I had already stabilized my patient and she was comfortably resting on the stretcher.
“I am so sorry about this. I promise I’m not contagious. I’m 7 weeks pregnant and unfortunately that means I’m about to throw up.” My face was red with embarrassment. “Please excuse me while I go hide in that corner behind you real quick.”
My patient smiled warmly, “Oh sweetie, I’m so happy for you! Go do what you need to do!” At least someone was happy for me at that moment.
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For the first time in my 15-year EMS career, always priding myself on my stomach of steel, here I was puking in the back of an ambulance in front of a patient. I was absolutely mortified as I quickly filled the emesis bag typically reserved for patients as quietly as I could. Why did no one tell me the first trimester was this horrible? I internally cursed evolution for getting it so wrong, and then took a deep breath to go back to my patient.
Feeling some relief, I again apologized. My patient didn’t seem bothered (phew) — she wanted to talk about what the baby’s gender might be and how she thought I’d be a great mom. But here I was telling a complete stranger I was pregnant before most of my family even knew the news! I asked her and the volunteer BLS crew I had intercepted for secrecy once we got to the hospital, because I hadn’t yet told my coworkers (and frankly didn’t for another 4 months until I could no longer hide it).
That was the beginning of a very difficult first trimester, both inside and outside of the ambulance. I vomited countless more times. I struggled to get out of bed most days, debilitated from constant nausea for eight weeks straight.
Partner support during the first trimester
As a healthcare provider and union advocate for half my career, I was confused and angry that I had such a blind spot to how difficult this hidden trimester could be. I wasn’t angry for myself, but at myself in sudden recognition of all the people who I may have “left behind” during this vulnerable time in their lives.
How many pregnant coworkers have I had over the years who hid this struggle to avoid outing themselves before they were ready? How many deserved an alternative option, and didn’t feel empowered or safe enough to ask for it?
Luckily, I felt comfortable telling my main partner what was going on in those early months. A mom of three and 20-year veteran of the field, she’d also been a pregnant EMT before. The solidarity and safety I felt from her partnership is what got me through that trying time.
When I would burst into sudden tears about how I wasn’t cut out for pregnancy while trying to write a PCR, she laughed at me lovingly, and told me I was going to be fine.
She took on the harder half of lifting for me so that I could feel a little safer when I was anxious about a miscarriage.
She reminded me often that I was strong and capable.
She let me vent about the daily struggle and she made sure I was always fed.
Above all else, she made me feel safe in an extremely vulnerable time so that I could continue to do my job well and serve the public as a paramedic.
I look back on this time with gratitude for the gift of a partner who “got it,” and for having a low-risk pregnancy without major complications.
I also have a deep concern for those pregnant providers out there who aren’t as lucky and who are struggling in silence. We all have a role to play in doing better for our pregnant providers.
Supporting pregnant providers
Most EMS agencies do not have specific or responsive pregnancy policies, despite our workforce’s average age being squarely within the childbearing years. Many EMS providers struggle to get the appropriate accommodations for pregnancy and motherhood, even when the law requires it.
At worst, many women in our industry report bullying, harassment and lack of support in their workplaces when they request accommodations for pregnancy or maternity — such as getting light-duty assignments, taking necessary leave or getting appropriate breastmilk expression breaks. Sadly, I’ve seen this type of harassment and bullying happen first-hand, and it’s why I kept my pregnancy mostly a secret at work until I was seven months pregnant.
If you are an EMS provider, ask yourself:
- How can I ensure my partners feel safe when they are pregnant?
- What adjustments in my actions or approach can I make?
- How can I build trust with my partners so they know I will protect their privacy and dignity should they need my discrete support?
If you are in EMS leadership, I encourage you to think about this topic even more proactively. Ask yourself:
- How can I create responsive policies to protect providers in their various phases of pregnancy, including the first trimester, ensuring that all relevant laws are being followed?
- Can I protect my employees’ confidentiality while providing easy opportunities for reassignment if they are struggling with difficult or dangerous pregnancy symptoms?
- How can I assure all my employees that they are a valued part of the team no matter what their pregnancy status is? Can I strive to always meet their needs, without judgement?
- Can I take it even further and be a leader in the industry, instituting policies for guaranteed paid parental leave, childcare reimbursement or other efforts to better recruit and retain parents in EMS?
We don’t have to continue to be collectively blind to this topic and leave this segment of our field behind.
Please talk to providers you know who are pregnant or have been pregnant before to find out how to do better at your agency.
Don’t settle at the minimum legal standards — be the place that goes the extra mile for parents (imagine the effect it will have on recruitment and retention).
Together, we can all work to make EMS more responsive to pregnant providers and parents, no matter what stage of pregnancy or parenthood they are in.
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