It was shortly before 0600 on November 1, 1989, when we pulled away from the ER and headed back through a finally quieted city. There was an hour left to go before shift change and, although I could have gone for the fun of more calls, my nice, quiet bed at home sounded pretty good too.
At nearly 20 calls the day before – particularly the night before – had been as much fun as a new paramedic could ask for; from drunks to drama, from auto vs. pedestrians to candy-induced stomach aches, it was a blast (for me). Of course, the ink on my paramedic card was practically still wet; at barely 21 years old, I had found my heaven — even the dumbest calls were fun.
That’s some mannequin
As my partner and I drove back toward the station, I noticed a brilliantly lifelike dummy hanging by the neck from a light pole that extended almost as far as the center of the road. “Slow down,” I told my partner. “Check out that mannequin; it looks totally real.” The detail was exquisite; from the perfectly proportioned body elements to the blue/ashy color of the face. The hands were even puffy and blue.
“Yeah, they go all out for Halloween around here,” he said. He told me the bar in front of the light pole was known for its Halloween parties and decorations.
When we returned to the station, I told the oncoming crew to be sure to check out the mannequin we had seen. “Is that in front of [such and such] bar? ... Yeah, they are known for their Halloween parties and decorations.”
I guess everyone knew it but me. What did I know? It was my first Halloween as a paramedic in that town.
Although it was out of my way, I drove by the mannequin once more on my way home. Too bad the era of cell phone cameras was still about 20 years away. If I didn’t know any better, I would have said it was real.
Oh, well. With that sunrise, Halloween was over. Nevertheless, for the remainder of the day and into the next day, the traffic rolled under the now-passé Halloween decoration — traffic that included fire engines, ambulances and police cars. I’m sure they all marveled as I had at the detail, but were likewise ready for it to come down in favor of something more in the spirit of Thanksgiving.
I think it was in the early hours of November 3 that a police officer — one who had passed under it countless times already — decided that it was time for the grisly ornamentation to come down. Since clearly nobody had claimed it, he would do it himself.
That’s ... not a mannequin
While it would have had no meaning whatsoever in 1989, I think that #oops would have been the most fitting response.
You guessed it: that mannequin was no mannequin. It was, apparently, a guy whose girlfriend had broken up with him on Halloween and he was gonna show her.
I heard through the grapevine that she had driven right under him on her way to work the day after Halloween. Just like all of the regular citizens, paramedics, firefighters and police officers who saw him hanging there, she didn’t notice either.
In hindsight, do I think this raises any particular EMS-related legal quandaries? No. Not really. But it does bring to mind some simple advice: when in doubt, doubt.
Happy Halloween!
