True Confession: I have postponed my EMS education. I like to do things well and I tend to stress about them when I am not doing well. I can still hear my father telling me as a child to not to do things “half-assed.” It is a sensitive subject with me and I have used this expression often with my children and staff: “If you are going to do something half-assed, then you might as well not do it all!”
However, sometimes events in life make it damn near impossible to things as well as we want.
The month of February was full of such events. My dog of 10 years was diagnosed with a large mass in his chest that was pressing on his esophagus, heart and lungs. We were told he did not have long to live. We brought him home and decided to spend our last weekend with him giving him all the love we could and to say goodbye.
Unfortunately he was very weak and once we got him home and he was no longer able to stand up, we realized that we needed to let him go and have some peace. As I was leaving for my EMT class and human body quiz, my husband left for the vet to put our dog down.
A few short days later, I received a call that my grandmother, who I had taken care of for the past 9 years, would probably not make it through the next 24-48 hours. The family phone calls and arrangements began- not leaving a lot of time for studying for my first exam. As my family started to arrive, I left for class to take my first exam. I had to miss the next class as our Pastor was giving my grandmother her last rites.
Fast forward to a week later. My grandmother was still hanging on. The week was filled with meetings with hospice and her long-term care facility. Not to mention family and meals, kids on February break, and a husband out of town. When she died 11 days later, it fell on a class night. Another class missed.
I began to fret as I slipped further behind in class and in my businesses. And honestly, my head was just not in it either. As I sat in class the last night with my heading spinning as we did round robin medical and trauma assessment — I sank deeper into despair. I had missed so much essential content it would take me a long time to catch up. Not to mention I would need to keep up going forward.
I had to sit down and make some tough decisions. I couldn’t continue to do school, work and family “half-assed”.
I started to triage my life. EMT Class was a red, my businesses and family life were yellow and all were in danger of getting the black tag! My family needs me as a mother, daughter, sister and wife — that was not an option to let that go. My businesses are what help to feed, clothe and house my family — not really an option either. The only thing that I could let go was the class.
