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Latest development in bizarre emergency vehicles: Slambulance

Fellow healthcare professional thought somehow it was all right to re-purpose healthcare vehicle into some sort of toy

Editor’s note: Editorial Advisor Art Hsieh imagines a scenario in which Texas’s new ‘slambulance’ would be useful.

This is so bizarre at so many levels. I can just see how this vehicle will be used:

The scene opens with a woman standing in front of her house, looking distraught, cell phone in hand.

The Slambulance pulls up. The driver lowers the window and says in her Texas drawl, “What seems to be the emergency, ma’am?”

“Thank you so much for coming. You see, I can’t dance. I should be able to, but something’s happened.”

“Oh, I’m sorry you are having this difficulty. Fortunately we have a possible treatment. Come into the back of the rig, and we’ll check you out.”

“Really? This has been going on for a while. Are you sure you can help?”

“Yes, ma’am. We’re professionals.”

Ludicrous? Sure. It befits a ludicrous situation.

It’s astounding that Texas doesn’t appear to have any regulations that prohibit placing emergency lights on non-designated vehicles.

It’s also amazing that a fellow healthcare professional thought somehow it was all right to re-purpose a healthcare vehicle into some sort of toy, adorned with all kinds of emergency lighting, EMS and fire service decals and a traditional paint job.

It’s most alarming that the vehicle has suggestive text emblazoned on the back that implies a service of a different sort.

So there you have it, the evolution of inappropriately re-purposed ambulances: Ambulances that transport pets, a DJ ambulance, a paranormal ambulance, a brewpub ambulance and finally, a rolling stripper ambulance. Way to go!

Art Hsieh, MA, NRP teaches in Northern California at the Public Safety Training Center, Santa Rosa Junior College in the Emergency Care Program. An EMS provider since 1982, Art has served as a line medic, supervisor and chief officer in the private, third service and fire-based EMS. He has directed both primary and EMS continuing education programs. Art is a textbook writer, author of “EMT Exam for Dummies,” has presented at conferences nationwide and continues to provide direct patient care regularly. Art is a member of the EMS1 Editorial Advisory Board.