I can still hear it in my head, being told as a young EMS professional, “you have an attitude problem.” There would always be some wise crack in return. My favorite was, “it’s a problem for you, not me.”
Why in EMS do we get so defensive when someone gives us criticism? It gets to the point where we just keep our opinions to ourselves and don’t share our constructive or corrective thoughts about others.
In retrospect, those who were making me aware of my attitude problem, were really trying to help me grow. But who ever taught us how to listen, reflect and maybe utilize some of the criticism we are receiving?
Let’s dive into the world of responding to and making criticism a positive for our personal and professional development.
Criticism is an inevitable part of life, whether in personal relationships, the workplace, or public interactions. While it can sometimes feel uncomfortable or even painful, criticism — when approached constructively — can be a powerful tool for self-improvement and personal growth. Learning how to effectively respond to criticism can enhance self-awareness, build emotional resilience and improve interpersonal relationships.
Constructive criticism vs. corrective criticism
Done right, offering criticism can be both constructive and corrective. These are some very broad types of criticism, but we need to understand the difference before we get started.
- Constructive criticism. This category of criticism is given with the purpose of helping someone develop. It is typically well-meaning and focuses on offering actionable feedback rather than personal attacks. Constructive criticism is often specific, sensible and encouraging.
- Corrective criticism. This form of criticism is guided at pointing out errors, faults or areas that need improvement. It can sometimes be observed as negative, but when delivered thoughtfully, it serves as a valued learning tool. Corrective criticism highlights error/mistakes and encourages changes in behavior, skills or approaches to specific tasks.
Understanding the intent behind criticism is crucial to determining how to respond. When approached with the right mindset, both forms of criticism can contribute to personal and professional growth.
The importance of self-awareness in responding to criticism
When it comes to self-awareness, this is the most important leadership characteristic for ultimate success. Self-awareness is the ability to recognize and understand your emotions, why you think the way you do, and the behaviors and habits that come from your actions. Self-awareness plays a vital role in responding to criticism, as it helps individuals distinguish between constructive feedback and personal attacks. By developing self-awareness, individuals can:
- Understand their emotional triggers and regulate their responses.
- Separate the message from the messenger, allowing for an objective evaluation.
- Use criticism as an opportunity for self-improvement, rather than as a source of distress. Just because someone has something critical to say about you, does not mean it is all negative. See what you can use from the encounter.
- Develop resilience and confidence in facing feedback. Other people’s opinions of you do not need to become your reality. Let people have their opinions, and if there is some value to you, use their criticism to improve. It all comes with reflection and self-awareness
|More: Self-awareness: The key to personal and professional growth
10 practical tips for dealing with criticism
Handling criticism effectively requires a combination of emotional intelligence, patience and strategic thinking. Below are 10 practical tips to navigate criticism in a productive manner.
- Listen with an open mind. Instead of reacting defensively, make a conscious effort to listen to what is being said. Acknowledge the feedback without immediately dismissing it. Sometimes, criticism contains valuable insights that can help you improve. Pay attention to both the words and the underlying message.
- Separate emotion from feedback. It’s natural to feel defensive when receiving criticism, but emotional reactions can cloud judgment. Take a deep breath and focus on the message, rather than the tone or delivery. Remind yourself that feedback is often meant to help you, not harm you, and controlling emotions will allow you to process it rationally.
- Assess the source. Consider who is providing the criticism. Is it someone with expertise or experience? Is their intention to help or to undermine? Evaluating the credibility of the source helps determine the weight of the feedback. Feedback from a knowledgeable mentor or supervisor, for example, is more valuable than unsolicited negative remarks from a casual acquaintance.
- Ask for clarification. If the criticism is vague or unclear, seek clarification. Ask specific questions such as, “Can you give me an example of what you mean?” to ensure you fully understand the feedback. Doing so demonstrates that you take feedback seriously and are open to improvement, rather than simply reacting emotionally.
- Recognize the truth in criticism. Even if feedback is delivered harshly, there may be a kernel of truth in it. Look beyond the delivery method and assess whether the criticism contains valuable insights for improvement. If multiple people have given similar feedback, it may indicate an area that genuinely needs attention.
- Don’t take it personally. Criticism of work, behavior or performance is not necessarily a reflection of personal worth. Avoid internalizing negative feedback as a personal attack. Remind yourself that everyone receives criticism at some point and that it is often a necessary part of growth and development.
- Respond thoughtfully, not reactively. Instead of reacting impulsively, take time to compose a thoughtful response. Express gratitude for the feedback and, if necessary, discuss how you plan to address it. If you disagree with the criticism, respond calmly and provide your perspective while remaining open to dialogue.
- Use criticism as a learning opportunity. View criticism as a chance for growth. Reflect on how you can use the feedback to refine your skills, behaviors or approach to a situation. Develop an action plan for improvement and take proactive steps toward implementing changes.
- Know when to let go. Not all criticism is valid or useful. If the criticism is unjustified, overly harsh or coming from a biased source, it’s OK to let it go and not dwell on it. Recognize that some people criticize out of jealousy, frustration or negativity, and their words may not hold real value.
- Practice self-compassion. Criticism can sometimes sting, even when well-intentioned. Practicing self-compassion — reminding yourself that everyone makes mistakes and has room for improvement — can help mitigate negative emotions. Treat yourself with kindness and recognize that growth takes time.
Today, if someone tells me I have an attitude problem, my response is, “probably, but there is a fine line between attitude and assertiveness, and I side on my own self confidence.” Responding to criticism with grace and intelligence is a skill that can be developed over time.
By cultivating self-awareness, differentiating between constructive and corrective criticism, and applying effective coping strategies, you can turn feedback into a tool for personal and professional advancement. Instead of fearing criticism, embracing it as a pathway to growth can lead to greater self-confidence, improved relationships and continuous self-improvement.
