Editor’s note: Seems most of you noted the date of the article — Happy April Fool’s guys! Thankfully, nothing in this article is true.
By EMS1 Staff
WASHINGTON — In a mediated settlement to avoid litigation, the American Bar Association (ABA) and the Department of Transportation (DOT) agreed to require lawyer warning devices on all United States ambulances.
Cecil Allen, spokesperson for the ABA, said, “We the officers and directors of the ABA, are pleased with the agreement. We are saddened that 74 of our colleagues have been backed over by ambulances or ran into the rear of ambulances which quickly stopped.”
The device issues both a visible and audible warning when the ambulance transmission is placed in reverse or when the braking forces exceed a pre-determined level.
Philadelphia personal injury attorney Steve Miffin said, “It is about time this dangerous and overtly egregious situation has come to an end. I feel the ambulance manufacturers have been capricious in their conduct toward members of the bar.
“The ability to chase an ambulance is clearly granted by the founding fathers in the first, fourth and fourteenth amendments to the United States Constitution.
“If my memory serves me correctly, the ability of properly licensed attorneys to chases ambulances has been recorded in the Bible, the Koran, the Torah, the Book of Morman, and in selected Native-American spiritual writings.
“It is as American as Thanksgiving and apple pie — or is that cherry pie — regardless, one of the fruit pies.”
The DOT has assured the ABA that devices should be on all ambulances by this day in 2012 if funding becomes available.