29 shocking X-ray images of rectal foreign bodies

Lots of medics have a go to "that one patient" story they share when asked by friends or family for something they never expected to hear about in the ambulance


By Ben Pugh

"Rectal foreign bodies" are not uncommon in the world of EMS. Whether the result of some bizarre accident, horribly inappropriate dare or sexual misadventure, sometimes an embarrassing trip to the ER is the only way to get to the bottom of things.

The X-ray will provide crucial information in formulating a plan of attack in removing the unwanted occupant. It will also provide everyone on staff with a great story for their next cocktail party.

After scouring the dark recesses of the internet, we present 29 of the most shocking items ever found within the dark recesses of the rectal cavity.

Warning: you cannot unsee these things, and you may be a significantly different person by the time you reach the bottom of this page.

1. Instant Coffee Jar

Good morning! How about a cup of joe?

weird things people put up their butt: coffee jar
Case courtesy of Dr Frank Gaillard, Radiopaedia.org. From the case Rectal foreign body - instant-coffee jar

2. Fly Spray

I'll get that damn fly if it's the last thing I do.

weird things people put up their butt: fly spray
Image courtesy of Dr Frank Gaillard, Radiopaedia.org http://radiopaedia.org/images/767

3. Key

And I was embarrassed when I locked my keys in my car.

4. Milk Bottle

Well, you're supposed to have 3 glasses a day.

5. Deodorant

You really need to follow the directions on the can.

weird things people put up their butt: deodorant
Case courtesy of Dr Frank Gaillard, Radiopaedia.org. From the case Rectal foreign body - deodorant bottle

6. Egg

He had a hankering for eggs.

weird things people put up their butt: egg
Case courtesy of Dr Mohammad Taghi Niknejad, Radiopaedia.org. From the case Rectal foreign body - egg

7. Egg Beater

Hey, have you seen an egg in here?

8. Cassette Tape

This may be the first cassette tape I've seen in 10 years.

9. Candy Cane

Ya know, for the holidays.

10. Orange

Freshly squeezed.

weird things people put up their butt: orange
Case courtesy of Dr Paul Simkin, Radiopaedia.org. From the case Rectal foreign body

11. Eggplant

I see your orange, and I raise you an eggplant.

weird things people put up their butt: eggplant
Case courtesy of Dr Frank Gaillard, Radiopaedia.org. From the case Rectal foreign body - eggplant

12. Coke Bottle

Giving new meaning to the Open Happiness Coca Cola slogan.

13. Gas Lighter Refill

Got gas?

weird things people put up their butt: gas lighter
Case courtesy of Dr Ali Nourian, Radiopaedia.org. From the case Perforated rectal foreign body - gas lighter refill

14. Zucchini

Don't worry, it's organic.

weird things people put up their butt: zucchini
Case courtesy of Dr Frank Gaillard, Radiopaedia.org. From the case Intraperitoneal zucchini

15. Barbie

Ken could not be reached for comment.

16. Buzz Lightyear

To infinity and beyond...way beyond.

17. Rubber Fist

When you want to fist bump your spleen.

weird things people put up their butt: rubber fist
Case courtesy of Dr Andrew Dixon, Radiopaedia.org. From the case Rectal foreign body : 'Spleen Tickler'

18. Live Eel

This one's completely messed up. A few drunks "punked" their friend with the old eel-in-bum-prank when he passed out. He died.

19. Pint Glass

Cheers, mate!

20. Bottle and Coat Hanger

Man, I really shouldn't have put that bottle up there. Good thing I have this coat hanger....Dammit!

21. Vibrator and Salad Tongs

Come on, everyone knows that the only tool for a rectal retrieval is salad tongs...Double dammit!

22. Toy Car

This really happened, but was done as a stunt for the Jackass Movie. See the clip below for the doctor's awkward reaction.

 

23. Cell Phone

Anyone seen a cell charger up in here?

24. Electrical Cord

I guess, technically, it is an outlet.

25. Jar of Peanutbutter

So I was just standing there, making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and then...

26. Sunglasses

You think you're so cool with those shades, but you're still an ass to me.

27. Knife

You've heard of sword swallowers, right? It's like that, but circus crowds may never embrace this one.

28. Live Ammo

The story involves a WWII vet who was allegedly trying to relieve his hemorrhoids...by inserting a bullet. (What? Makes total sense). Bomb squad was reportedly called in for ASS-istance (Sorry, I had to).

29. Lightbulb

weird things people put up their butt: lightbulb
Scrubs/ABC Studios

The lesson: don't do this...any of this...ever.

 

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