29 shocking X-ray images of rectal foreign bodies
Lots of medics have a go to "that one patient" story they share when asked by friends or family for something they never expected to hear about in the ambulance
By Ben Pugh
"Rectal foreign bodies" are not uncommon in the world of EMS. Whether the result of some bizarre accident, horribly inappropriate dare or sexual misadventure, sometimes an embarrassing trip to the ER is the only way to get to the bottom of things.
The X-ray will provide crucial information in formulating a plan of attack in removing the unwanted occupant. It will also provide everyone on staff with a great story for their next cocktail party.
After scouring the dark recesses of the internet, we present 29 of the most shocking items ever found within the dark recesses of the rectal cavity.
Warning: you cannot unsee these things, and you may be a significantly different person by the time you reach the bottom of this page.
1. Instant Coffee Jar
Good morning! How about a cup of joe?
2. Fly Spray
I'll get that damn fly if it's the last thing I do.
And I was embarrassed when I locked my keys in my car.
4. Milk Bottle
Well, you're supposed to have 3 glasses a day.
You really need to follow the directions on the can.
He had a hankering for eggs.
7. Egg Beater
Hey, have you seen an egg in here?
8. Cassette Tape
This may be the first cassette tape I've seen in 10 years.
9. Candy Cane
Ya know, for the holidays.
I see your orange, and I raise you an eggplant.
12. Coke Bottle
Giving new meaning to the Open Happiness Coca Cola slogan.
13. Gas Lighter Refill
Don't worry, it's organic.
Ken could not be reached for comment.
16. Buzz Lightyear
To infinity and beyond...way beyond.
17. Rubber Fist
When you want to fist bump your spleen.
18. Live Eel
This one's completely messed up. A few drunks "punked" their friend with the old eel-in-bum-prank when he passed out. He died.
19. Pint Glass
20. Bottle and Coat Hanger
Man, I really shouldn't have put that bottle up there. Good thing I have this coat hanger....Dammit!
21. Vibrator and Salad Tongs
Come on, everyone knows that the only tool for a rectal retrieval is salad tongs...Double dammit!
22. Toy Car
This really happened, but was done as a stunt for the Jackass Movie. See the clip below for the doctor's awkward reaction.
23. Cell Phone
Anyone seen a cell charger up in here?
24. Electrical Cord
I guess, technically, it is an outlet.
25. Jar of Peanutbutter
So I was just standing there, making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and then...
You think you're so cool with those shades, but you're still an ass to me.
You've heard of sword swallowers, right? It's like that, but circus crowds may never embrace this one.
28. Live Ammo
The story involves a WWII vet who was allegedly trying to relieve his hemorrhoids...by inserting a bullet. (What? Makes total sense). Bomb squad was reportedly called in for ASS-istance (Sorry, I had to).
The lesson: don't do this...any of this...ever.