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PoliceOne April 1 Newsletter
Dear Member,

Think you've got a typical case of EMS humor? Then this newsletter is especially for you! With this inaugural issue of the EMS1 Humor eNews, we hope to irreverently, but respectfully, lighten a part of your day. Humor has always been a big part of life in EMS, and we hope to capture some of that madcap spirit here.

In this premiere issue, we've put together a collection of news stories for your enjoyment — some completely made up and others we wish were. We've also added some hilarious tales from our columnists and army of readers. Think you're funny and want to contribute to a future Humor eNews? Shoot us a note.

The EMS1 Team
Spoof News
EMS chief ponders use-of-force policies
Featured News
An EMS chief is proposing new ways to combat the hazards medics face on the job, from safety to mild inconvenience. But critics say using chokeholds or pepper spray on a combative elderly nursing home patient might be a bit excessive. "What about a TASER?"
Featured Columns:
Administrative Amnesia: New disease hits EMS
Most of the symptoms go unnoticed in the early stages of the disease
EMS agency deploys nation's first pain detection K-9
Because nothing says "you are are full of s***" quite as well as a hyperactive rat terrier
Important memo from The EMS regarding influenza outbreak
This year's strain, the medialahooplatisis (media-la-hoopla-titis) is especially virulent
The Darwin Awards
Most surreal EMS calls
By Michael Morse, EMS1 Columnist
You have your "real calls," like diabetics, overdoses and panic attacks. Then there are "unreal calls," the ones that you never forget. But "surreal calls"? Those are the ones that test your resolve.
EMS1 Exclusive
Top 10 best EMS slogans
By EMS1 Staff
We asked our Facebook fans to tell us what slogan they'd like to see on the back of their ambulance. Here are our picks for the top 10. "Not. A. Taxi."

A medic finds a brand new BMW rolled on its side and badly damaged. A man screams from underneath, "My car, what have I done to my beautiful car!" The medic comes over and says, "Forget about your car, what about your missing arm?" The man looks down and for the first time notices that his arm is missing... "My Rolex, my Rolex is missing!" Submit your EMS joke
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