New ambulance design sparks riot at EMS trade show

At one point, police had to be called to restore order

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POTASH, Idaho – Medics attending the Mid-American EMS Schwag Giveaway and Hoopla show went on the rampage over the controversial design of a new ambulance cab.

Despite the implementation of radical cutting edge technology and a high commitment to safety, the vehicle by Five Boroughs Design, Inc. was judged the worst product of Hoopla 2013.

At one point, police had to be called to restore order after an angry mob formed, tipped over the ambulance and attempted to rip it apart. 

Many EMS industry observers thought the driver safety monitoring system would be the least favorite feature. But a police report into the incident revealed the main object of Hoopla attendee scorn was the streamlined cup holders in the driver compartment.

"My first check of any ambulance is the cup holder," vented one EMT, visibly shaking. "This hunk of junk wouldn't keep a Super Slurp n' Gulp upright on flat roads let alone the curves of the road heading up to Bloomberg's Holler.

"When I get the ambulance up on two wheels, my magic combo of Red Bull, Dr. Pepper and Mountain Dew would pour all over my partner's coveralls."

In an official statement released April 1 by the company, ambulance designer Sven Elven said, "We have miscalculated our entry into this market.

Our cup holders were rigorously tested with 12 ounce cans and cups. We didn't anticipate the need for securing 40 ounce and larger beverage containers."

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