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25-pocket tactical pants drive up demand for useless sh&t to carry

When given the choice between more education and pants with unlimited capacity, tactical pants win with millennial rescuers

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WILKENSBERG, Pa. — When Hero Pants, Inc. released its Made in the USA, 25-pocket tactical pant for millennial medical first responders some consequences were predictable, others not so much for the best-selling product.

The 25-pocket pants, which are a factory stitched and rivet reinforced 18 oz. Kevlar and nylon blend, have an MSRP of $300. Each pair is custom fit with waist sizes ranging from 12 to 58 inches.

"These pants have more pockets than I can even reach," Ricky 'Rescue' Richardson, 23, a Rixston area medical first responder wrote in an online five-star review. "I had been saving to go to EMT school. Instead I bought these pants. #WorthIt!"

The 25-pocket pants have an MSRP of $300.
The 25-pocket pants have an MSRP of $300.

AllStuffforEMSPants.com, an online store which sells accessories for EMS providers, is an unintended beneficiary after the 25-pocket EMS tactical pant earned the "Lava Hot" product award at an international EMS collectibles trade show.

"Our average order has quadrupled in the last 90 days," Phil Baggs, AllStuffforEMSPants.com CEO said. "Hero Pant owners have an insatiable appetite for useless shit to put in the pockets of their new tactical pants."

The "I Got This" accessory pack bundle from AllStuffforEMSPants.com, based on the items most commonly ordered, includes the following:

  • Trauma shears, right-handed
  • Trauma shears, left-handed
  • Trauma shears, glow in the dark
  • Stethoscope, adult
  • Stethoscope, pediatric
  • Exam gloves, large (10 pairs)
  • IV tourniquet band, large (4)
  • IV tourniquet band, medium (2)
  • Window punch
  • Helmet removal lever
  • 18-function aircraft grade aluminum multi-tool
  • Phone holster
  • Radio holster
  • Page holster
  • Ball point pens, black (6)
  • Ball point pens, blue (6)
  • Ball point pens, red (3)
  • Moist towelettes (4)
  • Hand sanitizer (6 oz.)
  • Carabineer, large
  • Carabineer, medium
  • MFR protocol and drug guide, laminated and water proof
  • Chamois cloth
  • Penlight (2)
  • Small LED flashlight
  • Large LED flashlight
  • Pediatric FACES pain scale, laminated
  • Headlamp, LED
  • Band-Aids, large (12)
  • Band-Aids, small (10)
  • Ice pack (2)
  • Paramedic Panda pocket size plush toy
  • Bottle opener
  • Can koozie (2)
  • Lip balm
  • Sun screen
  • Medical tape
  • Duct tape
  • 10,000 mAh power bank for phone
  • AAA batteries (12)

The "I Got This" pack includes a lifetime subscription to the Livin' the Dream smartphone app and a monthly stethoscope calibration alert.

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