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The Spoof
by The Spoof

EMS chief ponders use-of-force policies

Some say chokeholds on a combative elderly nursing home patient might be considered a bit excessive

By EMS1 Staff

LOWER SLAUGHTERHOUSE, La. — An EMS chief is La. is proposing some radical measures to combat the hazards medics face on the job, from safety to mild inconvenience.

Jealously eyeing his police counterparts in the idyllic town of Slaughterhouse, George Fongut is pushing to greatly expand the agency’s policy on employing use-of-force measures.

"This has been a long time in coming," said Chief Fongut, EMT-D. "The best defense is a good offense, and I’m sick of being the Washington Generals of the public safety community."

For years, the city's ambulance crews have been responding to high-risk and traumatic incidents, often without law enforcement, animal control, or public works personnel to assist them in accomplishing their tasks. Under Fongut’s plan, EMS personnel would be given not only greater access to equipment but the latitude to use it.

"With the additional training and equipment they received, EMS personnel can now feel more secure while at work," said Fongut. “What person doesn’t feel safer outfitted in head-to-toe body armor with flashbangs and beanbag shotgun rounds?”

While agreeing that the use of pepper spray would be helpful when subduing a violent patient, critics argued that Fongut's suggestions of using a TASER to “persuade” an intoxicated individual to consent to care or a chokehold on a combative elderly nursing home patient might be considered a bit excessive.

Chief Fongut disagreed, adding that data will be evaluated over the next several months to make sure things don't get out of hand. "A palm slap is a little price to pay for the safety of our crews, isn't it?" he asked. “And if things get a little rough, hey, we’re already going to the ER, right?”

About the author

"The Spoof" comedy section brings together fake, fictitious and entirely made-up "news" articles by the EMS1 team of staff writers and columnists. Want to get creative? Send us your news story satires to!
The comments below are member-generated and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of or its staff. If you cannot see comments, try disabling privacy and ad blocking plugins in your browser. All comments must comply with our Member Commenting Policy.
Ken Fischer Ken Fischer Friday, August 09, 2013 2:11:12 PM Rarely does EMS need these tools. I DO Believe that senior members of EMS (Medics, Sup'v, etc.) should be allowed to carry their firearm if they so possess a full carry license. Unless you work in a really tough area, there is always PD and ESU.
Jason Bokow Jason Bokow Tuesday, April 01, 2014 11:50:35 AM You obviously don't/haven't worked large city OR rural EMS. Here's a few stories from JUST whats happened to me over the past 10 years. I've been shot at both in the truck and outside of it. My partner was accosted and taken hostage for a shift. People have tried to stab me. (knives and dirty sharps) ive been hit more times then I can count by patients. (drunk or otherwise) Let alone the MULTIPLE times me and my partner have had to deal with EDP's with no PD because "they are too busy." Fact is in most inner cities its now a option to get a vest while on shift....Now why should you wear a vest and not have anything to defend yourself with? Im not saying all EMTS/medics should be armed. It should be a CHOICE if you want to or not. With the proper training of course. It should be left up to the EMT/MEDIC. Or at least issue TASERS like the police have for at LEAST "standoff" the least.

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