Wyo. town training EMS for 2012 phenomenon

Mayor has temporarily suspended vacations for EMS personnel unless and until town government emerges unscathed from potential disasters


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DUNMOVIN, Wyo. — The mayor of a Wyo. town is mandating that EMS crews undergo training for the impending Mayan apocalypse.

"The end of the ancient Mayan calendar is coming," Dunmovin Mayor Helen Highwater said. "The god Bolon Yokte' is returning to earth, and our EMS agencies need to be ready."

Dunmovin has set up several training camps just outside city limits. Mayor Highwater has temporarily suspended vacations and leaves for paramedics and other EMS personnel unless and until town government emerges unscathed from the potential disasters.

Mayor Highwater has also authorized the purchase of four dozen ambulances, putting the municipality even deeper in debt.

"I have confidence that our paramedics will be able to handle the onslaught of patients, not to mention a sudden and extreme shortage of supplies and widespread panic," she said.

While many in local EMS don't put stock in the mayor's belief, they say there's not much they can do.

"In this economy, we'll take work where we can get it," said paramedic Alotta Doubt. "But if the world does end, I don't know how long we'll be able to fuel those new ambulances."

Among the patient conditions EMS providers plan to see in triage as the world ends include victims of radiation, tornados, zombie bites, alien laser guns and brimstone burns.

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