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Home > Topics > Weird EMS News
February 28, 2012

Top 20 signs you're in EMS

By EMS1 Staff

How do you know for sure you're really part of EMS? Well, if you believe a good tape job will fix anything, or your idea of fine dining is anywhere you can sit down to eat, then it seems that you've been a medic or EMT for a while! Be sure to share your own in the member comments section

Discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal seems perfectly normal to you.

You believe a good tape job will fix anything.

Your idea of a good time is a full arrest at shift change.

You have the bladder capacity of five people.

You disbelieve 90 percent of what you are told and 75 percent of what you see.

You believe chocolate is a food group.

You have your weekends off planned for a year in advance.

Your idea of fine dining is anywhere you can sit down to eat.

You believe that "shallow gene pool" should be a recognized diagnosis.

You get an almost irresistible urge to stand and wolf down your food even in the nicest restaurants.

You debate which is worse, spaghetti and meatballs with red wine or pizza with beer, while performing gastric lavage.

You believe that "Ask-a-Nurse" is an evil plot thought up by Satan.

You believe that having an ambulance at a "Health Fair" was his next idea.

You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if the phrase "Wow, it's really quiet" is uttered.

You threaten to strangle anyone who even starts to say the "Q" word when it is even remotely calm.

You take it as a compliment when someone calls you a dirty name.

You say to yourself "great veins" when looking at complete strangers.

You have ever answered a "lost condom" call.

You believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis.

Your favorite hallucinogen is exhaustion.

Our thanks to The Lunatick.com for allowing us to republish this list!

Comments
The comments below are member-generated and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of EMS1.com or its staff. If you cannot see comments, try disabling privacy and ad blocking plugins in your browser. All comments must comply with our Member Commenting Policy.
David Wilson David Wilson Tuesday, February 28, 2012 5:18:49 PM God I must qualify because I do almost all of these.
Steve Bishop Steve Bishop Tuesday, February 28, 2012 5:19:37 PM So true.
Laura Alvarez Laura Alvarez Tuesday, February 28, 2012 5:24:13 PM LOL AT LEAST 18 OUT OF 20!
Daniel S. Syme Daniel S. Syme Tuesday, February 28, 2012 5:33:01 PM Too old for # 3.
Rhonda Renee Maynard Rhonda Renee Maynard Tuesday, February 28, 2012 5:33:35 PM My favorite is number 20
Kimberly Rodgers Kimberly Rodgers Tuesday, February 28, 2012 5:35:45 PM Oh so true...
Aasia Franco Aasia Franco Tuesday, February 28, 2012 5:42:47 PM 14 and 15 work my nerves them be fighting words or what u say to a nurse on ur way out if she realy pisses you off lmao...
Ann Hansen Ann Hansen Tuesday, February 28, 2012 5:43:21 PM Amen!
Brook Ann Watson Brook Ann Watson Tuesday, February 28, 2012 5:43:28 PM I am still a "baby" EMT", have only been in EMS for a lil over a year....but I see myself in some of these already! I love my job!
Dennis Embry Dennis Embry Tuesday, February 28, 2012 5:44:54 PM I hate to say that I agree with almost ever one but #9 being from the south fits most all my calls.
John McDonald John McDonald Tuesday, February 28, 2012 5:46:14 PM all of these & then some can be found on thelunatick.com.
John McDonald John McDonald Tuesday, February 28, 2012 5:48:14 PM oh the best phrase to instill fear into the hearts of ER staff is "___________ Hospital/ Medical Center IS OPEN FOR BUSINESS!" I used that statement a few weeks ago & then passed the word to all the surrounding towns & the ER damn near went on divert from the influx of patients!
Heidi Longwell Heidi Longwell Tuesday, February 28, 2012 6:06:15 PM I do not agree with number 3! even if we can practically work a code in our sleep, oh wait, we do!
Chris Stewart Chris Stewart Tuesday, February 28, 2012 6:11:23 PM Amen to all of these...
Lori Ann Gaidasz Santini Lori Ann Gaidasz Santini Tuesday, February 28, 2012 6:24:54 PM Don't forget that we wish coffee came in IV form because it is all that courses through our veins.
Zach Jones Zach Jones Tuesday, February 28, 2012 6:25:38 PM So true
Nancy Gainer Nancy Gainer Tuesday, February 28, 2012 6:29:18 PM Love this!
Beth Richie Beth Richie Tuesday, February 28, 2012 7:12:36 PM hahahaha
Jeff DiGanci Jeff DiGanci Tuesday, February 28, 2012 7:31:12 PM You have an immune system known to attack squirrels in the back yard.
Larry L. Peel Larry L. Peel Tuesday, February 28, 2012 7:34:54 PM Too true....too true!
Ann Werchan Ann Werchan Tuesday, February 28, 2012 8:19:34 PM I have lived this life way to long!!!!! Love it!!
Jim McAbee Jim McAbee Tuesday, February 28, 2012 8:21:57 PM how is there nothing on here about being able to sleep through anything, except that damn tone that pre-ceeds every call.
Charlotte Kowalczyk Charlotte Kowalczyk Tuesday, February 28, 2012 9:04:56 PM I agree with all of them. LMAO
Randy Nance Randy Nance Tuesday, February 28, 2012 9:40:29 PM Agreed
Donna Plumley Brubach Donna Plumley Brubach Tuesday, February 28, 2012 10:16:32 PM Let's be stupid, let's be slow, let's call it in to poison control......*a rhyme I made up when they kept preaching to us that we should call for any kind of ingestion, exposure etc....not my job, that's what the ER is for!
Jessica Nonnemaker Jessica Nonnemaker Tuesday, February 28, 2012 10:42:13 PM #12 should add that there is no way that the snooty nurse in the ER will ever listen to your report because she knows better... Even after she incorrectly tells the PT the opposite of what you told her... (Making her look like an ass).. other than that... All of those are true here... :)
Jeff DiGanci Jeff DiGanci Wednesday, February 29, 2012 2:47:46 AM This is very true. I was sick and received dilauded and my ringtone is squad 51. Slept through a lot that day until phone rang. LOL
George Beltz George Beltz Wednesday, February 29, 2012 3:53:38 AM OK now that I am done rolling on the floor. That's funny. I agree with all of these.
Delores Lane Workman Delores Lane Workman Wednesday, February 29, 2012 5:10:19 AM "ain't nothing like a good GI bleed before breakfast" has been uttred from these lips! and we firmly believe that the "Q" word as well as the "S" word should not be allowed until after shift change!
Daniel J Best Daniel J Best Wednesday, February 29, 2012 5:12:41 AM Not exactly a "lost condom call," BUT did have the kid with the eternal user-on several times...and the guy who couldn't stop whacking it in the back of the rig.
Daniel J Best Daniel J Best Wednesday, February 29, 2012 5:13:42 AM Eternal hard-on I meant. I hate auto-correct!
Jaden Oliver Jaden Oliver Wednesday, February 29, 2012 5:58:09 AM If every time your wife or girlfriend speaks all you hear is your stations tone...
Denise Kemmerling-Haag Denise Kemmerling-Haag Wednesday, February 29, 2012 6:19:43 AM accept the condom call thus list is me plus the added suggestions. We also shoud b be able to write tickets for stupidity it would end our nations deficits.
Joe Bittrich Joe Bittrich Wednesday, February 29, 2012 6:47:54 AM How about hearing the tones when your asleep in your own bed.
Melanie Harden Catenacci Melanie Harden Catenacci Wednesday, February 29, 2012 7:02:30 AM This is so true!
Phil Loechler Phil Loechler Wednesday, February 29, 2012 7:07:00 AM Sometimes I feel that way! Stupid is NOT an excuse.
Jason Harper Jason Harper Wednesday, February 29, 2012 7:53:14 AM u mean this is not normal.
Sam Breth Sam Breth Wednesday, February 29, 2012 8:09:53 AM Yuuuup. LOL!!
Sam Breth Sam Breth Wednesday, February 29, 2012 8:12:03 AM And actually, the spaghetti-red wine vs pizza and beer discussion.....I've been doing this so long,I can smell he differences between cheap beer and higher priced beer. LOL
Celeste Gras Celeste Gras Wednesday, February 29, 2012 8:32:50 AM I agree! I would submit the following as an addition: You believe strongly that The Hysterical Slap should be made a first line intervention for certain circumstances.
Debra Baker Debra Baker Wednesday, February 29, 2012 8:41:16 AM ok - those are funny!!!
Stuart Fliegelman Stuart Fliegelman Wednesday, February 29, 2012 9:01:55 AM If you arrive at an MVA after 1AM and nobody is drunk, someone is missing!
Eileen Durstein Eileen Durstein Wednesday, February 29, 2012 9:51:06 AM Trur
Joshua Sawyer Joshua Sawyer Wednesday, February 29, 2012 12:30:17 PM Haha
Bryan Donovan Bryan Donovan Wednesday, February 29, 2012 12:36:58 PM 14 is so true
Mel Maguire Mel Maguire Wednesday, February 29, 2012 12:44:27 PM #21: You believe all hospitals should install Prozac fountains in ER waiting rooms.
Christina Molander Pasterz Christina Molander Pasterz Wednesday, February 29, 2012 12:59:27 PM ....for the nurses and ER docs....just sayin'
Mel Maguire Mel Maguire Wednesday, February 29, 2012 1:08:27 PM LOL...I was thinking more along the lines of Xanax for the staff. ;-)
Christina Molander Pasterz Christina Molander Pasterz Wednesday, February 29, 2012 1:18:13 PM I worked with some pretty crazy folks! I remember one swing shift, looking for one of our orderlies and found him riding a bicycle up and down the med surg hallway!
ReneEddie Easter ReneEddie Easter Wednesday, February 29, 2012 1:50:09 PM As an E.D. RN & a Paramedic, I see me in most all of it...lol...But, Jessica, I can't say that our nurses don't listen to our EMS. We have a really good rapport with our community EMS, paid & volunteer.
Lorenzo Bocchicchio Lorenzo Bocchicchio Wednesday, February 29, 2012 1:51:09 PM this is so true sadly in so many ways.
Carol Peters-Hudak Carol Peters-Hudak Wednesday, February 29, 2012 3:51:14 PM Similar to you know you're a nurse when...
David Hontz David Hontz Wednesday, February 29, 2012 4:23:08 PM yep I work in ems.
Randy Ross Randy Ross Wednesday, February 29, 2012 8:01:46 PM You mean everything except YOUR tones ...
Patrick Patterson Patrick Patterson Thursday, March 01, 2012 6:52:05 AM if you've ever told a nurse..."at least I can give meds without a Dr's order".
Earl Alexander Earl Alexander Thursday, March 01, 2012 1:43:38 PM Braz, I remember experiencing a few of those. Thanks for the laughs.
Pat Thies Pat Thies Thursday, March 01, 2012 3:33:11 PM Once woke up to the pager, put on my pants, went down the stairs and only there thought "Hold on, the base has no stairs!" then turned around and went back to my apartment
Cheryl Wilson-Kuhens Cheryl Wilson-Kuhens Thursday, March 01, 2012 5:14:35 PM I know your job is really hard to deal with at times but I will praise each and every one of you for the job that you do..And a special thanks for the ones that. have saved my life 5 times in the past 3 years due to my medical condition ty,,
Phil Jobe Phil Jobe Friday, March 02, 2012 7:33:44 AM Antivan salt licks too
Anne Krippner Akers Falaschi Anne Krippner Akers Falaschi Friday, March 02, 2012 1:10:25 PM I am guilty of all of the above!
Paul Russell Sr Paul Russell Sr Friday, March 02, 2012 6:05:28 PM those were the days. you would know who was going to be sick on relief check day. lugging lizards
Ed Hinson Ed Hinson Friday, March 02, 2012 7:28:54 PM yepper
Jake Ballmann Jake Ballmann Saturday, March 03, 2012 12:41:10 AM When you are on your way home from the base and you reach down to change the siren when coming up to a red light in your personal car.
Jake Ballmann Jake Ballmann Saturday, March 03, 2012 12:42:49 AM When you have dreams that you are getting toned for a call and you actually get up and walk out to the bus, just to realize it was a dream.
Richard Steven Nares Richard Steven Nares Sunday, March 04, 2012 1:32:21 AM At 3AM when you jump in the unit, buckle up and notice your partner missing. Then realize the call was for the other unit!
Nathan Bush Nathan Bush Monday, March 05, 2012 4:42:12 AM if u have used d5 and vitamin b 12 to end a hangover u are in ems.
Sherry Sanford Sherry Sanford Monday, March 05, 2012 4:34:48 PM <3 even this newbie agree's <3.
Mandy Sifford Martocchio Mandy Sifford Martocchio Monday, March 05, 2012 5:26:37 PM When driving your personal car on your day off, you reach for an imaginary shifter on the steering column to put it in reverse!
Jo Lee Armitage Jo Lee Armitage Monday, March 05, 2012 5:36:56 PM How about "You can't cure stupid"? Or stupidity keeps us in business!
Tonya Reeder Honeycutt Tonya Reeder Honeycutt Monday, March 05, 2012 5:46:04 PM When 2 meals are provided by the ER, you might be in EMS. Graham Crackers and Shasta rule!
Patricia Leibenguth Patricia Leibenguth Tuesday, March 06, 2012 9:37:52 AM I totally agree. I know several EMT's and Medics that agree too! fom my years in the ER as secretary.
Bernardo B. Laguit Bernardo B. Laguit Wednesday, March 07, 2012 6:32:38 AM some few..
Shannon Mahan Wright Shannon Mahan Wright Thursday, March 08, 2012 2:07:42 AM Amen. I thought about becoming a nurse, but I don't like to take orders.
Shannon Mahan Wright Shannon Mahan Wright Thursday, March 08, 2012 2:20:17 AM Should never mention a pt.'s name or u will be visiting them during ur shift.
Charlene Mcdonald Charlene Mcdonald Friday, March 09, 2012 5:17:51 AM to true
Gary Lindenmier Gary Lindenmier Friday, March 09, 2012 6:31:36 AM ROTFLMAO....Sweet for the box people!
Molly Rae Molly Rae Friday, March 09, 2012 6:39:45 AM sometimes I still hear the tones in my head.. some insanity always remains.
Amy Hall Amy Hall Friday, March 09, 2012 6:48:29 AM You learn how to sleep sitting up while posting on the side of the road....
Caressa Greening Caressa Greening Friday, March 09, 2012 7:03:12 AM and when you see a wreck up ahead you reach for your imaginary lights and siren buttons
Caressa Greening Caressa Greening Friday, March 09, 2012 7:09:55 AM Lol I so did that one time, including woke my partner up! she was not happy with me lol
Caressa Greening Caressa Greening Friday, March 09, 2012 7:10:31 AM and spiked yourself a bag......or two
Caressa Greening Caressa Greening Friday, March 09, 2012 7:13:09 AM How about a "lost gerbal call"? yes there is a true story with that one......and x-rays lol
Caressa Greening Caressa Greening Friday, March 09, 2012 7:17:37 AM anyone else find themselves inspecting the MULTIPLE cars in the driveway as you pass them with a perfectly ambulatory pt. with N/V and a fever?
Blaine Bates Blaine Bates Friday, March 09, 2012 7:18:50 AM The sickest patients live at the end of the hall farthest from the elevator and the heaviest patients live on the top floor of the walk-up!
Caressa Greening Caressa Greening Friday, March 09, 2012 7:19:50 AM oh and #22...... on some shifts YOU are sicker than most of your patients!
John Martian John Martian Friday, March 09, 2012 10:14:32 AM haha true
Gary Lindenmier Gary Lindenmier Friday, March 09, 2012 1:37:20 PM Don't worry...We can silence that with gunfire!
Daniel J Best Daniel J Best Friday, March 09, 2012 1:45:25 PM Yikes!!!! Still, from a learning perspective, that would be pretty cool to see. Except that Radiology would have to sedate the gerbil to get it to hold still so they could shoot the films. Or so I've read...
Caressa Greening Caressa Greening Friday, March 09, 2012 6:01:35 PM Trust me, the gerbil didnt have much room to move around, no sedation necessary lol plus i think it had suffocated by the time he got to the hospital cuz it wasn't moving anymore
Rez Medic Rez Medic Friday, March 09, 2012 10:06:23 PM I always reach for the radio that's not there to call "Back is station" when I pull up to my house....
Jennifer Bowen Hesse Jennifer Bowen Hesse Sunday, March 11, 2012 11:01:12 AM # 17, #19! Love it!
Jacob Coomes Jacob Coomes Tuesday, March 13, 2012 3:46:25 PM What about when the family member says that they'll follow you to the ER or asks if they can ride with them.
Walter Waganka Walter Waganka Tuesday, March 13, 2012 8:00:01 PM Completing a meal means after several attempts between alarms.
John Spriggs John Spriggs Wednesday, March 14, 2012 9:14:45 AM If you have ever answered the phone at home "Station?" If you have ever gotten up at shift change the next morning and ask your partner if you had gone on a call the during the night and his answer is "Ya don't you remember working that code" or something to that effect. If you have ever caught a quick nap in the back of the truck while responding from the ER to the next call. and to the hangover thing if you have ever started an IV on yourself to cure the hangover. I could go on and on.
Diana Sprain Diana Sprain Wednesday, March 14, 2012 10:16:11 AM On your day off, you answer your phone with your agency ID or callsign.
Shelley Mathis- Bertrand Shelley Mathis- Bertrand Monday, March 19, 2012 7:04:00 AM You know for a fact, Children that play with lighters, isn't half as dangerous as a drunk man with a lighter who has gas!
Wendy Hoechstetter Wendy Hoechstetter Thursday, April 26, 2012 10:42:57 PM These are priceless!
Wendy Hoechstetter Wendy Hoechstetter Thursday, April 26, 2012 10:44:31 PM If you've ever threatened a belligerent patient the police wouldn't touch who was twice your height and three times your weight with a bicarb injection, pretending to start to assemble it, if he didn't shut up and get in the ambulance - and he looked at you like *you* were the crazy one - and then climbed on board and didn't say another word.
Joseph Todd Plummer Joseph Todd Plummer Sunday, October 21, 2012 10:26:41 AM If you have ever asked nursing home staff why the O2 NRB mask is only at 2Lpm.
Midori Eastham Midori Eastham Saturday, December 29, 2012 7:47:12 PM Haha..so very true.

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