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Home > EMS News

20 more signs you're in EMS

By EMS1 Staff

Our first list of signs you're in EMS was so popular — and received so many responses — that we decided to compile another one. Share your own in the member comments section!

You think that caffeine should be available in IV form.

You have ever restrained someone and it was not a sexual experience.

You have witnessed the charge nurse muttering down the hallway, "Who's in charge of this mess anyway?"

You have ever used the phrase "health-care reform" to instill fear into your coworkers' hearts.

You believe the waiting room should be equipped with a Valium fountain.

You have been exposed to so many X-rays that you consider radiation a form of birth control.

You believe your patient is demonically possessed.

You believe that waiting room time should be proportional to length of time from symptom onset ("You've had the pain for three weeks? Well have a seat in the waiting room and we'll get to you in three days").

Your most common assessment question is, "What changed tonight to make it an emergency after six hours/days/weeks/months/years?

You know the phone number to the local detox center by heart.

You have ever had a patient say, "But I'm not pregnant, I can't be pregnant. How can I be having a baby?"

Your bladder expands to the same size as a Winnebago's water tank.

Your feet are slightly flatter and tougher than Fred Flintstone's.

Your immune system is so well developed that it has been known to attack squirrels in the backyard.

You have a special shrine in your home to the inventor of Haldol.

You have recurring nightmares about being knocked to the floor and run over by a portable X-ray machine.

Your shoes have been seized and quarantined by either the Centers for Disease Control, OSHA, the EPA, or the Nuclear Regulatory Commission.

You've been chipping away at your Bachelor's Degree for longer than most people take for a Doctorate.

Your idea of thawing the holiday turkey consists of an IV and warmed saline.

You hear the phrase, "I love you" more from the town drunks than you do from your significant other!

The comments below are member-generated and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of or its staff. If you cannot see comments, try disabling privacy and ad blocking plugins in your browser. All comments must comply with our Member Commenting Policy.
Nathan Bush Nathan Bush Thursday, April 19, 2012 4:41:12 PM when you walk into a store and hear a high pitched beep and stand still waiting for the rest of the tone to go off.
Ann Werchan Ann Werchan Thursday, April 19, 2012 5:06:18 PM Oh how these lists make me laugh and cry. After 13 years oh my!
Laoise Luciano Laoise Luciano Thursday, April 19, 2012 5:07:54 PM or when you have a dream that is so vivid that when the tones go off in your dream, you fall out of bed, run to the ambulance and start it up, only to look like a complete idiot when you sign the ambulance on the air.
Scott Lash Scott Lash Thursday, April 19, 2012 6:15:33 PM Or when you meet someone for the first time and you think "man are they going to be a hard stick".
Thursday, April 19, 2012 7:06:38 PM When it is the week between pay-periods and the dinner conversation selections include "Where can we get a discount, while in uniform" and when you asked about your blood type you answer "C+" for Caffeine.
Mike S. Dumond Sr Mike S. Dumond Sr Friday, April 20, 2012 4:54:20 AM Lisa Luciano LOL Been there, done that.
Terri Hoffman Kandis Terri Hoffman Kandis Friday, April 20, 2012 8:36:38 AM When your in the shower, completely wet, soapy, and the pager goes off...
Mark Royal Mark Royal Friday, April 20, 2012 4:53:21 PM AMEN! Such wonderful memories...... # 7 , # 14, and # 20.
Marissa Anne Marler Marissa Anne Marler Friday, April 20, 2012 5:08:46 PM This is for the ladies.. You know youre a female in ems when a back pack turns into a purse ;)
Cyndy Reardon Cyndy Reardon Friday, April 20, 2012 5:17:20 PM Sleep is a luxury, not a necessity and caffeine IS a food group! 22yrs!
Christina Styron Cherro Christina Styron Cherro Friday, April 20, 2012 5:19:06 PM Lisa Luciano Awesome! lol
Christina Styron Cherro Christina Styron Cherro Friday, April 20, 2012 5:20:54 PM Or find yourself staring at everyone's arm and think, "Heck, I could stick that from across the room with a dart, why can't more patients have veins like that?"
Tom Whaley Tom Whaley Friday, April 20, 2012 5:21:48 PM when your patient says, you changed your hair since the other day right.
Cyndy Reardon Cyndy Reardon Friday, April 20, 2012 5:26:29 PM ER RN: Why did you bring the patient here? EMT: Sign out front says Hospital!
Cheryl Schwark Cheryl Schwark Friday, April 20, 2012 6:09:40 PM When you hear the address paged and realize you need shoe covers just to walk in the place.
Jonathan Farrow Jonathan Farrow Friday, April 20, 2012 6:44:22 PM Or you hear the address, and don't need a map because you already know it, the patients name and chief complaint
Jonathan Farrow Jonathan Farrow Friday, April 20, 2012 6:45:42 PM When you call dispatch and repost yourself near an ems friendly establishment.
Jonathan Farrow Jonathan Farrow Friday, April 20, 2012 6:46:34 PM When you know which gas stations don't require you to make a purchase to use their bathroom and inform dispatch that IS your posting location
Jamie Lynn White Jamie Lynn White Friday, April 20, 2012 7:33:20 PM Lol
Eduardo Perez Eduardo Perez Friday, April 20, 2012 8:48:45 PM It 3:00 am you arrive at the house since when have you been like this? Since yesterday
Joe Todd Joe Todd Saturday, April 21, 2012 6:26:12 AM The first thing you admire about someone are their plump succulent......veins.
Joe Todd Joe Todd Saturday, April 21, 2012 6:27:01 AM when someone facing you yawns and you get a lemon grade/malampati score on their airway as a reflex.
Melissa Epperson Reddin Melissa Epperson Reddin Saturday, April 21, 2012 8:31:58 AM Or you arrive at the nursing home at 3am and ask how long has the patient been like this...and the answer is counted off in shifts....not hours.
Christine Garza Reyes Christine Garza Reyes Saturday, April 21, 2012 10:04:37 AM when you always order your fast food to go because if you order it for here you will jinx it!
Jan Sanders Jan Sanders Saturday, April 21, 2012 4:20:31 PM I've had so many x-rays, that I GLOW in the dark!
Willie Witkowski Willie Witkowski Sunday, April 22, 2012 7:08:08 PM When you can sleep through any thing, but the pager tones.
Michael D Michael D Thursday, April 26, 2012 5:32:07 PM You believe a gas station hot dog and can of coke is an adequate meal, or when your been called during your meal took the meal with you and walked into a house still chewing the last bite
Dani Diaz Dani Diaz Thursday, April 26, 2012 8:32:19 PM So true
Wendy Hoechstetter Wendy Hoechstetter Thursday, April 26, 2012 10:26:27 PM Jonathan Farrow And when you can fill out the entire run sheet except for *maybe* the details of the current chief complaint and vitals without even asking the patient anything.
Wendy Hoechstetter Wendy Hoechstetter Thursday, April 26, 2012 10:28:18 PM And when you do that even off duty because it just doesn't feel right otherwise any more.
Travis Schlegel Travis Schlegel Thursday, April 26, 2012 10:44:43 PM Radio report: EMT: PT needs her PEG tube replaced. RN: We don't do that here. EMT: Yeah, neither do we. See you in five.
Rick Lau Rick Lau Friday, April 27, 2012 9:07:47 AM you know all the free wi fi spots in town.
Diana Sprain Diana Sprain Tuesday, May 01, 2012 10:31:52 AM when the drive-thru folks know your voice and say "The regular?"
Fred Mauser Fred Mauser Saturday, May 05, 2012 7:15:40 AM Hilarious things haven't changed much the same comments we made in 1977 when I started as an EMT.
Fred Mauser Fred Mauser Monday, May 07, 2012 6:40:26 PM True in 1977 true today. Somethings never change...
Jonathan Farrow Jonathan Farrow Monday, May 07, 2012 6:48:03 PM Wendy Hoechstetter I actually had one of those this shift, he surprised me not being at his home address though, tricky tricky
Fred Mauser Fred Mauser Monday, May 07, 2012 6:51:04 PM Lisa Luciano I've. Also been there done that...glad I'm. Not the only
Kathi Hill Kathi Hill Tuesday, May 15, 2012 9:30:09 AM When you evaluate everyone you see with the Mallimpati and hope you never have to tube that guy with the little beard that he thinks is covering up his lack of chin.....
Kathi Hill Kathi Hill Tuesday, May 15, 2012 9:32:48 AM When you have your pager at someone's wedding....
Christopher Heidbrink Christopher Heidbrink Monday, July 16, 2012 10:20:07 AM When you avoid gas stations that are known frequent flyer hang outs. Hoping to avoid picking them up that night.

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