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The Spoof
by The Spoof

New TV series 'Stretcher Fetchers' dedicated to realistic portrayal of EMS

The groundbreaking series will pair regular American citizens with medics as they go out every day to save lives

By Arthur Hsieh

Hollywood, CA — NBC/ Universal has announced it will debut a new reality television show this fall focused on our true homeland heroes: medics.

Billed as the first ever ‘traumedy,’ "Stretcher Fetchers" will merge the foodie appeal of "Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives" with the relationship drama of “Real Housewives”, and add a dash of adventure a la "The Amazing Race." The groundbreaking series will pair regular American citizens with medics as they go out every day to save lives.

"We are committed to authenticity with this show," said W.T. Fooken, the show’s producer. "We’ve learned from previous shows like Trauma and Chicago Fire that EMS folks hate being depicted as stereotypes or portrayed as obscenely attractive and sexually virile. This show won't feature helicopters buzzing the tower, or buxom attractive females bursting out of their uniform tops. It'll be a true 'reality' show, for better or worse, and we’re excited to peel back the curtain and give average citizens a peek into the thrill that is day-to-day EMS."

Taped in fabulous locales such as Saint Paul Avenue in Memphis (TN), Wyoming Street in Detroit (MI) and East 60th Street in Chicago (IL), producers have leaked a few details about upcoming show highlights. Some featured segments will include competitions such as the following:

  • Ping Pong Posting: In this segment, teams of medics drive from one post to another, all night long. The goal is to drive the highest number of miles in the least amount of time. Bonus points are awarded when the citizen ridealong in the back of the ambulance vomits, with additional prizes if it happens more than once.
  • Gas Station Gastronomics: Medics will compete in convenience store cookouts, creating culinary delights from frozen food products and various dehydrated beef items.   Limited to using store microwaves and ambulance dashboards for food preparation, they must create a meal, then fill an 120 ounce soft drink cup, and balance everything while running back to the rig to drive code three to a call. Points are awarded for highest sodium levels, as well as eating everything without soiling their uniforms. Points are deducted from the crew whose ridealong drops their meal on the floor of the ambulance during transit, but extra advancement steps are awarded if they pick it up and eat it – especially after the last trauma call.
  • No Drama, No Trauma: Crews compete for the title of Drama Queen or King by revealing who is divorcing whom, who is sleeping with whom (who is also sleeping with someone else), and how many jobs they're working to make ends meet while simultaneously bragging about who’s got the biggest truck tires on their personal 4x4s. The last ridealong to cover their ears and gasp, "What the hell — are you all NUTS?!" wins the challenge.

According to the network, the pilot is schedule to air in the fall, and plans are already in place for a firefighting spinoff featuring firefighters competing in such time-honored traditions as recliner races, racy Facebook postings and chest pounding.

About the author

"The Spoof" comedy section brings together fake, fictitious and entirely made-up "news" articles by the EMS1 team of staff writers and columnists. Want to get creative? Send us your news story satires to!
The comments below are member-generated and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of or its staff. If you cannot see comments, try disabling privacy and ad blocking plugins in your browser. All comments must comply with our Member Commenting Policy.
Randy Clady Randy Clady Wednesday, August 07, 2013 2:25:17 PM I'm going to have to check it out! lol
Kathie McCarter Kathie McCarter Wednesday, August 07, 2013 2:27:42 PM I love this idea!
Judi Thomas Dixon Judi Thomas Dixon Wednesday, August 07, 2013 7:44:12 PM Can't wait!
Daniel Katzenstein Daniel Katzenstein Wednesday, August 07, 2013 11:37:08 PM Truth is stranger than fiction, spoof and satire combined.
George Beltz George Beltz Thursday, August 08, 2013 4:46:04 AM Coming to a tv station near you. LOL
Ed Hillenbrand Ed Hillenbrand Thursday, August 08, 2013 5:49:48 AM I only any network were to make a show like this. : )
Jennifer House Jennifer House Thursday, August 08, 2013 7:25:23 AM This would be awesome!
Toriano Trevor Fowler Toriano Trevor Fowler Thursday, August 08, 2013 8:13:42 AM This is stupid.
Mike Tragesser Mike Tragesser Saturday, August 10, 2013 1:35:26 AM Sounds pretty boring. Steven Bochco knew how to make television. If you want to see real urban EMS in action, rent reruns of Third Watch. If you don't like it, then you would definitely hate to work on a city rig.
Greg Crowl Greg Crowl Saturday, August 10, 2013 10:58:51 AM We always liked rescue me and the cop show that Leary did
Wendy Hoechstetter Wendy Hoechstetter Saturday, August 10, 2013 3:59:17 PM LOL!
Shol Ivano Shol Ivano Saturday, August 10, 2013 4:25:08 PM I wish they would do MORE 3rd watch!
Danielle Connell Danielle Connell Saturday, August 10, 2013 4:46:04 PM This I'll watch....Chicago Fire and Trauma were crap!
Danielle Connell Danielle Connell Saturday, August 10, 2013 4:47:25 PM Third watch was alright, but as a FDNY Paramedic, neither my colleagues or myself would have ever gotten themselves into the crap they did.
Tim Null Tim Null Saturday, August 10, 2013 4:49:14 PM Sounds truly fucked up. I'm a trauma medic and to me this is sounding more and more like portraying EMS in a way they said it would not. Doubt I will watch.
Tim Null Tim Null Saturday, August 10, 2013 4:50:52 PM Bring back the real shows like Paramedics Life in the streets. Show people what its really like for EMS. Show the work we Combat Medics do during the war.
Dana Arbeit Dana Arbeit Wednesday, August 14, 2013 12:03:07 AM "Paramedics, Life on the Streets" was a reality show. This sounds like a contrived 'game show'. I will check it out but the examples in the article sound absurd and not worth watching. Instead of "ping pong posting" how about "Standby Trivial Pursuit"? That would be more realistic. Instead of "gas station gastronomics" how about an Emergency Vehicle Operaton Course where the driver has to eat his burger, drink soda, operate the MDT and still drive the course successfully. Oh, and extra points for the most burgers consumed! I agree that "Third Watch" was an outstanding show. I also agree that "Chicago Fire" and "Trauma" went way overboard. However, sometimes they would include in an episode something that they could only gleen from medics it was just diluted by the "drama" added to make it 'entertaining'. They just don't get it that the real job IS drama in its highest form. They don't understand that it all looks routine and ho-hum until after the call when you can let yourself think and feel and the WHAM! the reality hits you about what you just dealt with and then you pick yourself up and go on the next call. Figuring out how to present that in a production would be gold.
Sandra Egleston Sandra Egleston Wednesday, August 14, 2013 12:20:53 AM Sounds dumb. I won't be watching.
Steve Jacobi Steve Jacobi Friday, August 16, 2013 7:55:06 AM This show sounds like childish games and will probably make EMS look like a bunch of clowns running around being more concerned about their 4x4 trucks and convenience stores. Trying to make a ride along vomit is just silly and disrespectful to the patient as well as the ride along.
Mary Lynn Mary Lynn Friday, August 16, 2013 12:30:50 PM tim, I tried to friend request you. I would like to know how you are doing? she is very pretty.
Dustin Thomas Scoggins Dustin Thomas Scoggins Tuesday, September 10, 2013 5:59:03 PM Maybe it will show some of the BS calls people make
Dustin Thomas Scoggins Dustin Thomas Scoggins Tuesday, September 10, 2013 6:00:19 PM It could educate the public, but it sounds like its going to shine a negative light
Bryan Robinson Bryan Robinson Sunday, December 15, 2013 9:08:56 PM I hope you people read better than this at work. Read the last paragraph. It's a spoof article meant for laughs
Melinda Morgan Melinda Morgan Saturday, August 16, 2014 4:18:32 PM Or a little dated but...."Emergency"

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