Top ten rejected themes for EMS Week 2010
Amidst all the screeching and hissing and enraged yowling, somehow ACEP manages to come up with a theme everyone can agree with
Well, EMS Week is upon us once again, and this year's theme is "Anytime. Anywhere. We'll be there." I think it sends the proper message, honoring our implicit compact with the public; call for an ambulance, an ambulance always comes.
Every year, the American College of Emergency Physicians faces the monumental task of uniting the varied factions of EMS and their particular agendas, and projecting a unified theme to the general public for at least one week of the year. It's quite a bit like herding cats, only that with us, the career cats hate the volunteer cats, the fire cats feel superior to all the other cats, and all of them hate the for-profit cats. And amid all the screeching and hissing and enraged yowling, somehow ACEP manages to come up with a theme everyone can agree with. Hats off to them.
Still, I'd be remiss if I didn't at least mention some of the other themes ACEP considered, and rejected, for EMS Week 2010:
EMS: It was cheaper and shorter than barber college
This one had potential, particularly among those who think current EMS curricula is too long and arduous, but eventually it was nixed by a faction heretofore unheard from — EMS barbers. Who knew that EMT-B was a prerequisite for admission into barber college?
Sure, $18k a year is a fair salary for EMTs! After all, it's not like we have your lives in our hands or anything!
EMS Week 2010: To hell with cakes and balloons, we'd be happy if you just slowed down and pulled to the right.
Become an EMT, because none of the local burger joints give discounts to nurses.
EMS: Making a living off your stupidity since 1966.
We don't much like people, but we had to be EMTs before they'd let us drive the fire trucks.
Could you stop calling us ambulance drivers, for just this week? Pretty please?
EMS Week 2010: A week of barbecues and fish fries would be nice, because our food stamps ran out a week ago.
Celebrate your local EMS agency for this week, to assuage your guilt at voting down their funding tax last month!
Anytime. Anywhere. We'll be there. But if it was for hemorrhoids at 3:00 am, we're gonna say nasty things about you afterwards.
Happy EMS Week, everyone!
Got any paramedic subtitles of your own? Chime in with your comments!